曾经不以为然，现在后悔莫及

Today is the first time i purposely did not go and look for her. But obviously, she did not really care for me anymore, not like last time, we used to have fun time for everyday. I do not know whether she is waiting for me to find her first or she thought that i am busy, but i do really want her to seek for me herself one day. I wish that could happen, but I know what will turns up in the end, it will NEVER happen. I do not know what we are now, friends? or more than that? I do know that boys should be the first to find girls, but for me, if the girl is really care about the relationship, she will seek for the boy anytime. Yes, I am dissapointed with her now. I do not know what to do the next. I know she does write blog, hope that she will see this and know what i feel now. 我知道当我经历多几年后，再回来这里看，这一切都时笑话. ):)

慢慢的，你的一切，我都想知道。也正因为这样，我又伤痕累累了。看到你做的一切和以前大不相同，血，在我的心里一滴一滴的掉下来。看到我们之间改变了不少，我很想很想很想回到之前那些没人骚扰的日子。为什么每一段感情我都会满身伤痕？为什么每当我想投入一段感情时，疤痕又一道一道地烙在我的心上？为什么？为什么？？？这些疤痕可以让我成长，但这种成长真的很痛，没人可以逃得过，没人可以避免，唯有自己跨过了，才能尝到幸福的果实。现阶段，我唯有告诉自己‘她不是我的’‘她只是比较要好的朋友’‘我不可以左右她什么' 等等的借口来减缓自己的疼痛。我知道我们可以恢复以前我们的友情及感情.